Audiosurf looks like a freakin’ awesome game, and I want it, but it’s Windows only, so no sale.

Bring out a Mac version and we’ll talk.

This is a counter rant, so please excuse me. It regards a YouTube video parody turning a David Lynch comment on tiny cellphone screens being used to watch movies, into an iPhone commercial. A sensible debate in the ghettos of the YouTube comment system is beyond fanciful, so this gets a blog post instead. Take a look;

Ya think? Look here, cranky (all of Lynch, the person who made this parody and the person who posted it), no one is going to exclusively watch a worthwhile movie on the iPhone. If they do, they are indeed missing out. No one in their right mind does that. When I get an iPhone or an iPod touch, I’m going to have videos, cartoons and maybe even movies on it. Not because I think I’m experiencing the media in the manner the creator intended, but because I’ll be experiencing entertainment on a portable device in a manner I see fit. Quite frankly, with the horrendous drivel coming out of Hollywood these days, I don’t think I’d be missing much watching most movies on a 4″ screen. Either that or there’s some kind of special magic I’ll rob myself of, if I don’t watch Napoleon Dynamite or Borat in a theatre.

Get off your pretentious high horse you arrogant fucks, no one cares what you think. All we care about is having a sexy phones (this goes for any of the new generation phones with those nice, big, bright, gorgeous screens) with the ABILITY to play video. End of story.

Sorry about all that, here’s something to lighten the mood (since it’s so freakin’ awesome). God is a DJ;

I don’t normally review films or give my opinions publicly on them. Last night I went to see Spiderman 3 and I was so incensed by it, I feel I simply must say what’s on my mind regarding this film.

Spiderman 3 is a horrible, horrible movie. It is worse than Spiderman 1, which I didn’t think much of either. I put S1 on par with Daredevil. It wasn’t wholly awful, there were some entertaining parts, so here’s my positives and negatives:

The Good:

• Bruce Campbell’s performance as a French resterauntuer was simply fantastic. Hilarious in a John Cleese-style motif, Campbell was brilliant in its execution.
• Peter Parker walking down the street thinking he’s the shiz niz, after submitting himself to Venom, was also hilarious.
• Tobey Maguire can play a bad guy very well. He should be type cast as such. His other character acting skills I’ll get to in the bad.
• The action scenes were fantastic to watch. As you’d expect.

The Bad:

• Tobey Maguire can’t act unless he’s playing a complete bastard. As Peter Parker he had one facial expression; benign retardation.
• The movie was about 1 hour too long. Spiderman 3 would have been much better had they shortened or even cut out the scenes relating to the relationships of Peter Parker, Mary-Jane et al.
• There was no explanation for the venom creature. A meteorite landed and it crawled out. Coincidentally in a time and place where the only people around, in New York city mind, were Peter and Mary-Jane. What!? The movie spent 2.5 hours getting to little point, and they couldn’t give any background for the main enemy!?
• A portion of the venom creature was indentified by a physicist as looking like “a chondritic meteorite of the 70s”. No it didn’t, and I know it.
• At the end of the movie, when Spiderman races to save Mary-Jane in the finale battle-royale, he leaps from building to building and moves in front of a giant American flag. What!? This isn’t a moment of patriotism. It’s a man with power racing to save the woman he loves. This is not an action American at its base. I have many american friends, but seriously, if you’d been sitting in the same theatre I was, i.e, one not in the US, the overwhelming mutter at this scene was a whole-hearted “fuck off!”. American patriotism has no place in an international film like Spiderman. Seriously? Fuck off.

And I’ll leave it there. Save your cash, rent the DVD. It’s not worth a cinema ticket to see. And talking of the price of a cinema ticket, Sam Raimi and Sony owe me at least half of my money back.

I give Spiderman 3 a mark of 45%.

This is, by far, the coolest DS mod I’ve seen. The Zelda DS Lite. It’s currently going for US$610 on eBay.

Sourced from GoNintendo

Here’s some wicked-looking cushions that are shaped and textured like rocks. I’ll have some of these in a corner of my house. When I have enough money for a house. And enough to buy a few dozen of these cushions. Which I can’t imagine are cheap. In my opinion this would be the ultimate way for a geologist to relax.

Sourced from Boing Boing. The manufacturer is the French company Smarin Design.

I used to play with Lego a lot when I was young, I attribute it as being a contributing factor in my development as a fully-fledged geek. I also like Star Wars when I was young, also a contributing factor. It should have come as no surprise then, although it did, to discover that Lego has produced a collector’s edition Death Star set.

I remember the rainy days of my youth, before video games and the internet took over as my primary pass-times, being wholly devoted to making a new Lego “thing” out of bits of another Lego “thing”. I’m far too impatient these days, but just as demonstration of hpw extreme some people are, here’s two time-lapsed videos of the Death Star being built in Lego;

Remember how I said I’m too impatient these days? Well to emphasise that, I hereby agree with Scott Johnson that merely watching these videos, even in time-lapse form, makes me want to lie down and snooze. Urgh.

As a side note, I say “Lego” as the plural of Lego. I think saying “Legos” sounds retarded.

You’d think if I were to ask you;

Hey, bro, what the fuck crawled under your floor and died?

I’d be speaking with marvellous wit, tempting your mind’s eye with a poetic play of prose and that sexy deep voice of mine. But no. I’m speaking literally here. Something, I am guessing a rat, crawled under my floor boards and proceeded to shuffle off its tiny mortal coil, leaving behind a haunting odour which could only be eloquently described as “a mixture of jockstrap, compost pale and shit”.

That’s what my room smells like.

You’d imagine living on a floor directly above a butcher, I would have been positively accepting of the smell of decaying flesh. Alas, for all the nights of being awoken by the glittering sounds of knives being sharpened and meat hooks being hung, I have only grown accustomed to the smell of the meat-smoking facility “out back”. And as I sit here at 2am, following a previous night’s sleep totalling 3 hours, finishing a website that has to be done right now, I can only imagine how peaceful it would be to be snuggled up, listening to the rain fall gently outside as I laid rotting under the floorboards.

I’ve been wanting to reduce the complexity of Yorrike.com for a while now, firstly with the now redundant WP short archive month hack I posted about (below) and now with a totally new take on the colour and structural theme I’ve had running on this site for a while.

I’ll be making more changes and adding a few things here and there over the next day or two, but overall, this is it. Feedback would be appreciated : )

From a rock geek perspective, I found it pretty damn funny that the Birts used a fake rock to spy on the Russians. Why a rock and not, let’s say, a tree? Or perhaps a delicious fake steak?

The BBC has the details, including a picture of the suspected geospy, which looks like lithified, weathered mudstone.

pray to be touched by
Flying Spaghetti Monster’s
noodly appendage